I am Hosea’s wife.
I read this book so many women of faith have just died over with a man I love very much. We read it to help me sleep and after we were done, there was a great image of marriage and accepting pasts and loving the way god intended. It hit me hard in those ways. I never could define it but i felt a tug on my heart.
I was driving today (day number two out of 2 horrible days) and I put in the Brooke Fraser CD. I love singing with her, my heart feels so connected to songs like “Albertine” and “Seed” because of my love and passion for children and Jamaica. But for the first time one song I never paid much attention to, allowed jesus to break through this wall I had built between me and him. He opened the flood gates to my passions and desires to serve him I had thought I lost. “Hosea’s Wife” was that song. I AM HIS WIFE. I have been “squandering this life”.
Change has ruled my heart, fear of that change has hardened and weakened the passion of my heart. My past and my having to face the past has made me fall back into the past. Those of you who know me I have had my “relationship drama”. Drummers, musicians, hurts, permanent scars and mistakes. Some of which I have let tell me I am unworthy of such love. I am not worthy of passions and gifts that have been given. so I built a wall to them until I could scrub myself clean, punish myself enough, avoid those until I forgot. But I have someone now that constantly reminds me he loves me but My Father, My savior, my “Redeeming Love” loves me more than he as man could ever.
"I see the scars of searches everywhere I go From hearts to wars to literature to radio There's a question like a shame no one will show What do I live for?" That question haunted me all day and al evening. I finally felt like I had passion for my church, youth, and missions. I could not wait to hang out with our new youth pastor and find out what I could do to help these middle schoolers and high schoolers love jesus and have passion for christ in there hearts. To love themselves, to heal and to know they were created to be wonderful and beautiful. I want to write down all my dreams, desires, and hopes for all to see so that you can pray for me to shed this skin and LIVE FOR HIM!
- - I want to do hair! and be the best at it.
- I desire to be apart of MS and HS kids lives and share my experiences and mistakes and my heart with them. I want to change there lives with love.
- I want to own my own salon
- I want to be the director of missions at a church so i can always use my passion and love for it in youth and adults for the rest of my life.
- I want to be the best wife I can be for the man of God I will marry. respectful, servant, and inspirationally strong. Serve him the way that God intended me to.
- I want to be a mom that is not afraid to share her heart and love with her daughters (even my mistakes) and with my sons I want to be the mom that teaches him how to be a man of God from age 10 to 87.
- I WANT< DESIRE< HAVE TO LIVE/THIRVE/SERVE/LOVE/HONOR/and DIE all for him and his kingdom! all I have is considered lost! I desire that to be my prayer.
I have a long, long, long road until that is cemented in my heart but GOD is not weak! and he is MOVING like a beautiful storm! into my life, my relationships, MOUNTAIN LAKE CHURCH! and my family!
PRAISE BE! GLORY IN THE HIGHEST!
I cannot get over how beautiful and redeeming his love truly is. It is so wonderful to feel that you are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are LOVED! AMEN! I want every single high school and middle school girl to understand the story of Hosea’s wife and how “Redeeming Love” is so much more than a fictional twist. It’s God’s picture of everything we are as women. Everything he wants for us. No matter who, where, or what it is what we DESERVE in his eyes!
can I get an AMEN?!
(I know this is long, God has set me on fire for the first time in a while and I am excited! thank you for taking time to read my heart! love and thankful for you all!)
Hosea’s Wife.
